The Dysfunctional Honeymoon Read online

“Um, Anthony, stay close. I don’t want to turn into Nadine. I could see one crutch catching a gravel chunk and spewing me across the ground,” Alex said.

  The thought of Alex sprawled across the gravel made me giggle. They turned and looked at me. I smiled back.

  “Sorry, just had a thought,” I responded.

  “I can only imagine,” Anthony smiled back. “You two need to not be mauled by jaguars, shot, or cause balconies to collapse. I know that technically, I’m not your body guard anymore, but it still reflects badly on me.”

  “The assassin with a heart of gold,” Alex smiled as she held onto his arm.

  “I think that life is long gone. Maybe I’ll pull a Zeke and settle down for a while.”

  “Kenzie’s single,” Alex giggled.

  “And cute,” I added.

  “Yeah, don’t play matchmaker. It doesn’t suit you. You can’t even sort your own love lives.”

  “Those that can’t do, teach,” I said. “Or in this case, fix other people up. Kenzie needs a stable man who won’t flake on her just because she has a dangerous job and makes lots of money.”

  “Why is her job so dangerous?” Alex asked. I gave her a look. She frowned.

  “I thought you knew?” I said.

  “Knew what?” Alex answered.

  “Kenzie’s dad was a plant in the IRA. That’s what got him killed. Her mother moved her here when she discovered that her dad was working with Scotland Yard from inside the IRA. If she hadn’t, both of them would be dead now too. The IRA found out and blew up the house they had been living in. They came to KC to be with my dad. But the IRA has long memories. It’s getting better, but she’s got as many problems with them as we do with the Russian Mob.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Alex shook her head.

  “Kenzie doesn’t talk about it,” I said as Zeke and Sebastian came back out carrying bags of food.

  “It is mostly tacos,” Zeke said as he got back on the RV. He came back to the door, “how did you manage to get a double dose of the disaster gene?”

  “Luck,” I said.

  I turned to look at the landscape one last time. There was a beauty in the scrub lands that stretched out around us. My eyes landed on a nine-banded armadillo. For a second, my brain processed options. Finally, I pivoted on my good leg and took off towards the RV. My bad leg and cane hit a pot hole. The cane head snapped off in my hands and I face planted into the gravel and dirt.

  “Wonder if Kenzie just fell in love?” Alex quipped.

  “Probably,” I said from my position face down in the dirt. I flipped over to see where the filthy creature of loathing was, my mind had him creeping up on me ready to attack. He was exactly where he had been before I turned to run. He looked me over once and began to walk away. I was sure if he could talk, he’d be laughing at me. Anthony rushed to my side. My face hurt and I could feel small rivulets of blood running down my check. My hip also hurt, it felt like something was stabbing it.

  Anthony got me to my feet. The stabbing pain continued. I pulled out the pearls that didn’t go around the neck. Three of them had broken.

  “They survive jaguars and car bombs, but not you running away from an armadillo,” Zeke threw his head back and laughed.

  Keep Going There’s More!

  Animal Disclaimer

  The author wishes it to be known that no armadillos were hurt during the writing of this book. Nor does the author wish to give the impression that armadillos are evil creatures that are only good as road kill.

  In fact, the author is quite fond of armadillos, despite the fact that they are known carries of many diseases that can be passed to humans. The author doesn’t imagine it’s their fault and doesn’t think it should be held against them.

  Furthermore, the author requests it to be known that no jaguars, bullet ants or other members of the animal or insect kingdoms were harmed during the writing of this book… except the poor iguana that was cooked and eaten. The author would punish Zeke for this behavior, but figures being married to Nadine will be punishment enough.

  About the

  Nadine Daniels’ Series

  (A Note from the Author)

  The Nadine Daniels’ Series has one novel and a series of novellas. I have been asked many times if there will ever be another novel. At this time, one is not planned. However, that doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen.

  Personally, I have a ton of fun writing the novellas. I have lots of things planned for the series that I’m just not entirely sure can be done with a novel. I have plans to introduce all the characters in more detail and have even considered doing a series of “spin-off” novellas where Alex Zeitzev and/or Kenzie Reynolds are actually the main characters.

  This series is completely fan driven. I never intended a novella or a sequel to The Life & Dysfunction of Nadine Daniels’. After its publication, there was much enthusiasm for a follow-up. Since my plate was filled at the time with writing the Strachan Series and the Dreams & Reality Series, I didn’t want to commit to another novel. Instead, I released The Dysfunctional Valentine.

  This turned out to be one of the most fun things I have ever written. It was a “half-hour sitcom” in book form. Shortly afterwards, there was another outcry. Mainly with this comment: Did she get married or not?!? This novella is the follow up.

  And the same still applies. I have more fun writing these novellas than I do anything else. Nadine and her merry band of disastrous characters are a riot to write. I even enjoy the revisions and edits that get done (for example the fear of armadillos came from a session with my editor who said: just about everyone is afraid of snakes, can’t you find something cute and cuddly to make her afraid of? Why yes, yes I can.).

  I am considering naming the series The Dysfunctional Chronicles. I think that describes the characters and the tone of the books perfectly.

  Also, while I do not have plans to write another novel (but exploring the characters through the novellas), I will not rule out the possibility that one may come to fruition. It would require the cosmos and Nadine’s life to align just perfectly, but she manages to get just the wrong alignment every once in a while…

  About the Author

  Hadena James began writing at the age of eight. As a teenager, she had several short stories published in literary magazines. She completed writing her first novel at the age of 17.

  Hadena graduated from the University of Missouri with a degree in European History with minors in German and Russian studies. She has always wanted to be a writer so she also took several classes in creative writing.

  Currently, she writes three series. The Brenna Strachan series is an urban fantasy with the main character being a half-demon/half-witch with serious identity issues. The Dreams and Reality series is a thriller series about a group of misfit US Marshals tracking down serial killers. And the Nadine Daniels’ Series is a comedic thriller where the main character, Nadine Daniels, has no need to go looking for trouble…It always seems to know exactly where she is or will be.

  When she isn’t busy writing or running her business, Hadena enjoys playing in a steel-tip dart league. She also loves to travel throughout North America and Europe. Her favorite cities are Chicago, Illinois and Berlin, Germany. She is an avid reader, reading everything from the classics like Jane Austen to modern writers like Terry Pratchett. One of her all-time favorite books is “Good Omens” by Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchett. She writes all of her books while listening to music and the bands tend to get “honorable mentions” within the pages.

  Find me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hadenajames

  Follow my blog:

  hadenajames.wordpress.com

 

 

 
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