The Dysfunctional Affair Page 2
“You really gonna shoot me?” He asked, closing the door.
“What the hell are you doing sneaking around the office?” I tried not to yell. The adrenaline was starting to slow down; I felt stupid. He took the chair across from me and I holstered the Berretta.
“You were snoring, I was trying to wake you without scaring you,” he grinned.
I thought about it for a moment and checked my clock. Yep, I had definitely fallen asleep at some point. I fell back into my chair and was forced to compensate for its attempts to roll away. I rubbed my face and looked at the desk.
Zeke looked at me, “you still haven’t read your email. My car is broken down.” He said this slowly as if it was supposed to ring some bells. When I stared at him blankly, he continued. “Sebastian gave me a ride here, he’s already left. Since I now live at your house, either you have to drive me home or give me the keys to the Hummer, because I’m not sleeping here tonight.”
I stuck out my tongue at him. It wasn’t entirely satisfying, so I blew a raspberry, as well. Zeke laughed and stood up, walking out of the office. I debated staying an hour or so longer and decided I would probably get a more restful sleep at my house. I followed him out, turning off the lights as I went.
Danes and a Roommate
There are six dogs in my house, six large dogs. Great Danes are wonderful pets; they are affectionate, loving, protective, and loyal. There is really only one problem with them, they are inside dogs. Now a small dog makes a great indoor dog. However, a dog that stands over 36 inches from the floor is not the ideal candidate for the house. I have no idea why they were bred to be inside dogs, but they were. I absently petted the one closest to me. They would stay like this until I got up or until something caught their attention and they had to investigate. I figured as soon as Zeke started down the stairs, they’d be out of the room like lightning. This was one of the advantages of a big dog, if they were smart, they could figure out how to open doors. Especially since I had put in handle door knobs instead of round ones. I only had two that had learned how, but those two were able to let the others out.
The shower turned off and the dogs lifted their heads from the bed, listening to Zeke as he moved around in the bathroom. I waited quietly; the mad dash would begin any moment. They would fly off the bed, Loki or Set would open the door and then they’d scramble down the stairs. At least one would trip and slide to the bottom. I would wait until they were completely downstairs before attempting to get up and moving. It was much less dangerous.
I heard the bathroom door open and close, then the spare room door closed. Instantly, the dogs were off the bed and running for the door. By the time all six were assembled, Loki had gone to work. The door latch clicked, then it was pushed open as the dogs headed out. I heard their paws thud against the floor as they ran for the stairs. It was the sound of distant thunder, one that I was used to hearing. The boom intensified as they reached the stairs, still running at full speed. Then the yelp as one lost its footing and went crashing to the bottom. So far, only Set had suffered an injury from this falling spectacle. Then I heard Zeke yell as they crashed into him, happy and excited at the prospect of getting his attention. I stood up and dressed. Unlike the Danes, I calmly walked down the stairs.
“Holy crap,” Zeke gave a small shriek. He grabbed the nearest dog, Enki, trying to hide behind him. I stared at him for a moment. Anubis and Loki were playing tug of war with a towel.
“Are you naked?” I asked.
“I had a towel,” he looked at the dogs. “I usually shower, get a cup of coffee and then get dressed.”
“How’d that work for you?” I asked, walking over to my biggest Dane and grabbed the towel from Anubis. It was covered in dog slobber. “You’ll probably need another shower if you use this.” I handed it to him over the back of Enki.
“Wow, that’s nasty,” Zeke looked torn between wrapping up in it or wrapping up with Enki.
I turned my back, trying not to laugh. I heard his feet move up the stairs. The dogs moved with him. He shouted at them to let go of his towel three more times as I sat down at the kitchen bar counter. A minute or so later, the group came back down the stairs. Zeke landed at the bottom first, splayed out like a murder victim. Marduk landed on top of him, his breath wheezed out dramatically. Suddenly the others were there too. They all piled on, licking and sniffing my new roommate.
I smiled at Zeke as he tried to pull himself from the mob. For my five foot two inch frame, the struggle was a long grueling battle that took ages. Zeke was not faring any better. I walked into the kitchen and got down a bowl. I was a cereal kind of gal. I had eight different kinds, I had very little of anything else in the cupboards. I poured some Crispix and added milk. I topped it off with a nice glass of OJ. I knew how to make a wonderful breakfast; juice and cereal was perfect. As I sat down, Zeke joined me at the table.
He looked at me and I smiled back at him. His face was red from the drool bath he’d just received. He grabbed a handful of napkins and started wiping his face. “Did you start coffee?” He asked sounding grumpy.
I raised an eyebrow at this. I am not a coffee drinker. I got all my caffeine from soda. “Uh, no, why would I?” I replied, trying not to look befuddled.
“Huh,” he got up and walked into my kitchen. I ate my cereal quietly, smiling from ear to ear. It was nice to see someone else get attacked in the morning. If they exerted their energy on him every morning, I could get used to the roommate thing. He sat back down at the table. “You have no food.”
I stared into my bowl. “Of course I have food. There is cereal in the cabinet by the stove, white milk, chocolate milk, orange juice, apple juice, Pepsi and left over Chinese in the refrigerator. If that’s not food, I don’t know what is.” I thought about it for a moment, “There’s also dog food in the garage.”
Zeke glared at me, “I’m taking the morning off to go grocery shopping.” He sounded irritated. “I have always heard you lived on take out, but I didn’t believe it until now.”
I laughed, “So what, you just thought every time you came to my house I was between shopping days?”
He looked at me seriously, “A lot of single people shop one day at a time, I figured you were one of those.”
“I go shopping every time I run out of the essentials.”
“What are essentials?” He asked, sounding doubtful.
“I’ve already told you,” I retorted, “cereal, milk, soda, juice, and dog food. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”
He made a disgusted noise and headed back to the kitchen. I was guessing Zeke was not a friendly person until he got coffee in him. As an after-thought I added, “I also keep coffee in the house at all times, just in case I have visitors.”
“You give them coffee, but not food,” he said from the kitchen. “That makes a lot of sense.”
“I can order out for food; it is much harder to get good coffee from take out,” I replied, not quite friendly.
“You’re bizarre; you are probably the most bizarre person I know.”
“Are you always this grumpy in the morning? Cause if you are, I’m going to crush your alarm clock that way I know I’m gone by the time you wake up.”
He sat down, “Sorry, no I’m not always this grumpy in the morning. I’m just used to bacon, eggs, toast, bagels, etc. for breakfast. Cereal is not among my favorite foods.”
“You’re the bizarre one. There’s an IHOP on the way to the office, call in an order and pick it up if you don’t want cereal.”
He nodded his head and looked at me, very seriously. I didn’t like the look; it was the look people got when they wanted to talk to me. Usually, it was not something I wanted to talk about. “Anthony is compiling a list of people that Amanda Reed m
ight have stolen from. Most of them are dangerous.”
I nodded my head. “It’s probably a long list. He should also consider people that might just want to kill me and blame it on someone else. Criminals talk and while in Russia, the Russian Mob paid a visit to one of my cousin’s because they had heard I was involved in something nefarious and they didn’t want me bringing them a turf war.”
“How many people are you talking about?” He took a sip of his coffee.
“I don’t know really. But you have to admit, I’m a lot better at making enemies than friends.”
“Seriously Nadine, can you think of a couple of people in particular that are pissed enough to want you dead?”
“How about the guy who occasionally tries to run over me?” For the last four years, I’d had to watch where I was when walking down the street because some jackass had a tendency to jump curbs trying to run over me. It only happened once or twice a year, but the police and Alex were at a loss to figure out who it was. The car was always stolen, and he rarely left evidence behind. In the beginning it had been scary, now it was just irritating. So far, he’d always missed because cars have to get some speed behind them to jump curbs and kill people, which means they make lots of noise. Plus, he didn’t seem to want to hurt anyone else, he always chose a time when I was alone and not in a crowd. It